I coach a lot of single women and moms, and the #1 thing that halts them from progressing is…Trying to help others financially and they don't even have their own affairs in order!
I can't tell you how many times we've set financial goals,, created a spending plan to support those goals, created a debt pay off plan to get out of debt and improve their credit scores and have had to re-work the ENTIRE PLAN because they've ‘lent' out money to grown folks who make enough to fend for themselves.
This really burns me up when the person borrowing is married; seriously? You'Re in a 2 income household and borrowing from a single person with 1 income?! I get really upset when my client is a singe mom, that is just totally inconsiderate.
But ultimately who's fault is it? People will only treat you the way we allow them to, right? And I know we hate to see our loved ones suffer, but if people make it a habit to ask us for financial assistance are they showing any concern for our well-being? I'll answer that; NO!
Before you lend out 1 penny, make sure that your own affairs are in order. This means you have paid your self first, your bills are paid in full, and all of your debt obligations are taken care of, etc.
If not, You Don't Have It. Say It With Me – NO!
Let's drag it out – NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
If they truly have your back; you won't have to worry about there being a backlash. Further, you're helping them. If you keep jumping to the rescue every time they go through something, you are preventing them from growing and learning from their mistakes. You're taking away from their character-building moment(s). You're crippling them from being financially responsible adults, which is why they will keep ‘borrowing' from your enabling behind in the first place. Yep, kinda harsh but it needed to be said.
Practice it, write it down, put it on the front of your wallet, on your bank and credit cards, and on your phone.
You have bigger things to accomplish for your money My Single Si-STAR, you cannot place them on hold any longer trying to take on the financial baggage of anyone else.